Looking back, Lor (39) didn’t always know whether she saw children in her future, but when she met husband David (39) in 2016, their outlook on parenthood soon changed.
“When I was 18, I was diagnosed with polycystic ovaries so I always knew there was a good chance it wouldn’t happen for me,” says Lor. Reflecting on her experience, she recalls having irregular periods from the age of 16, including one that lasted for a whole year at 17.
“I’m near 40 and I still don’t really understand what polycystic ovaries means for me but TFP GCRM Fertility got the closest to helping me understand what is going on with my body.”
Aside from the irregular periods, Lor didn’t suffer badly from other symptoms, though she says she has always struggled with her weight.
Lor recalls feeling unsure on when her and David should start trying to conceive, knowing her diagnosis would make things more difficult. When she was 32, Lor contacted her GP who immediately referred her to the gynecology department at her local hospital.
“We were in there for less than 10 minutes. The doctor told me to lose half my bodyweight and then we’d talk.”
Lor left the appointment feeling incredibly deflated, thinking there was no help available for her to conceive a child of her own because she didn’t meet the guidelines for safe treatment.
For patients undergoing IVF treatment where ovarian stimulation and oocyte (egg) retrieval is required every fertility clinic will have an upper limit for body mass index (BMI).
This is because of the technical difficulties that are encountered in women with a higher BMI during the egg retrieval procedure and the risks associated with conscious sedation for the anaesthetic doctors.
In some cases, a clinic can treat patients with a BMI higher than the upper limit, however, an anaesthetic assessment will need to be carried out.
Lor and David decided to look into adoption. “We were about to start the process on the Monday when we heard a radio advert for TFP GCRM Fertility in the car.”
They admit they didn’t know much about IVF or how it worked but they called the clinic there and then to find out more.
“The person I spoke to was reassuring, explaining that the BMI guidelines at private clinics were different and I wasn’t far off the limit at GCRM.”
During a consultation with a TFP GCRM fertility specialist, it was agreed that Lor would get her BMI down so she could begin treatment.
“That was it. I joined a gym; I lost the weight and when I came in for my final check the nurses confirmed I was within the guidelines, and they scheduled my treatment to begin the following Monday.”
In March 2020, as Lor and David were preparing for their first cycle of IVF, the country around them was going into lockdown.
Before the nationwide lockdown was announced, Lor had 22 eggs collected following a 14-day course of hormone medication taken to stimulate her egg growth. These eggs were then mixed with David’s sperm and left to fertilise naturally over a five-day period until they developed into a blastocyst (a healthy embryo).
“We were waiting for our day five when the country went into lockdown. The lab tech called me and promised that she’d sleep at the clinic if she had to, to ensure our embryos were taken care of.”
Lor and David’s embryos were then frozen and safely stored, ready for transfer when the country opened up again. “The hardest part was not knowing how long we’d have to wait.”
Four months later, COVID restrictions were lifted and Lor prepared herself for her first embryo transfer. After several unsuccessful attempts, a transfer in August 2020 resulted in the birth of Lor and David’s first child, baby boy, Daniel.
In 2023, they decided to try for a sibling for Daniel. An embryo was thawed, and Matthew was born in May 2024.
Being pregnant for the first time during a global pandemic was incredibly isolating. “Naively, I thought I’d see my midwife fortnightly or at least monthly but that wasn’t the case.
“With IVF, you find out you’re pregnant really early on and then you have the long wait until 12 weeks for your first NHS scan. I thought I’d go to classes and be taught everything I needed to know about caring for my baby but because of COVID it just didn’t happen.
“Suddenly, I was Googling everything. It felt like I had no one to turn to.”
As a Mum of two, Lor felt passionately about creating a safe space for Mums, Mums-to-be and Mums who want-to-be to come together – to learn from and support one another throughout their journeys.
In May 2022, Lor set up Blossom and Bloom Lanarkshire, a support network that does exactly that.
“I’ve made it different to antenatal classes in that you can join at any time throughout your pregnancy. I teach others what to expect from pregnancy and birth, both before and after.”
At TFP Fertility, we’ll perform an early viability scan between 6-7 weeks of pregnancy. Following this, you'll need to contact your GP or Community Midwife and tell them you are pregnant so you can begin antenatal care. You'll be invited for your first NHS scan when you are 12 weeks pregnant.
With your first pregnancy, you'll have up to 10 antenatal appointments. During these, your midwife will perform a range of health checks, including height, weight and blood pressure, to check for conditions such as gestational diabetes and pre-eclampsia and to ensure your pregnancy is safe for you and your baby.
During your pregnancy, your midwife will be able to recommend local antenatal classes where you’ll learn how to stay healthy throughout your pregnancy, make a birth plan that’s right for you and look after and feed your baby.
Through Blossom and Bloom Lanarkshire, Lor now hosts weekly pregnancy classes, parents-to-be workshops, first aid courses, monthly Mum nights and online 1-2-1 sessions to provide additional support.
“If you get the chance to do an antenatal class then you absolutely should as it’ll teach you how to physically give birth. However, I’m here to give you a checklist of what to do before and after, to tell your birthing partner how they can support you throughout the journey and so much more.”
Lor recognises that being a new parent can be overwhelming and admits that even knowing what size clothing to buy her first born brought her to tears.
“I’m not a midwife or a medical professional; my work is about creating a community of Mums and Mums-to-be to learn from and lean on one another when they need it. I teach them how to bottle feed if that’s their choice and the items they really need on their baby wish list. It’s invaluable practical advice from one Mum to another.”
It’s not just first-time Mums that attend Lor’s classes. “We often have second and third time Mums in attendance too. It allows them time to focus on just them and their baby. They learn and share their own knowledge and many of our Mums regularly meet up outside of class to support one another.”
“Every single person we spoke to at TFP Fertility helped us on our journey and allowed us to have our children effectively. The support doesn’t stop once your transfer is done. We are so grateful, so this was my way of giving back to those going through the same process.”
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