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How to tell your loved ones you're starting fertility treatment
Starting IVF can be a challenging journey, both physically and emotionally, and sharing your experience with those around you may help lighten the load. Discussing fertility treatment can be difficult, but you don’t have to go through it alone. Being honest and open can benefit you in many ways. While some loved ones may still view fertility treatment as a taboo subject, others may be more understanding. Here are some tips on how to start the conversation.
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How can you benefit from telling loved ones about your fertility journey?
Creating a support system can significantly benefit you more than you realise. It’s a personal choice, so we understand why you might be hesitant to share your experience. However, doing so can help you build deeper connections and provide you with the emotional support you need during this process. By informing your loved ones about your situation, you can help them understand why you may feel emotional, stressed, or anxious. However, remember that you are not obligated to tell everyone, only those with whom you feel comfortable.
Tips for telling your loved ones about your fertility treatment
Confide in people you trust – When starting your fertility treatment, be mindful of who you share your journey with, as it’s an incredibly personal and life-changing experience.
You may choose to tell everyone to break the stigma surrounding IVF or decide to confide in a small circle of friends and family. After your initial treatment, you might feel more comfortable sharing, but ultimately, the choice is yours.
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Choose the right time – Timing is crucial. You may prefer not to initially tell your friends and family, as you might feel overwhelmed by the pressure of constant updates while you process your own emotions. You may wish to wait until you have gone through an IVF cycle, but consider the potential benefits of having support right from the beginning, especially from those close to you. However, it’s completely up to you to decide when the time feels right.
Pick a suitable place – Try to pick a calm and private setting to speak to your loved ones. Avoid having this conversation during gatherings or family events, as this could create distractions. If you don’t feel comfortable meeting face to face, you can also speak to them over the phone.
Decide what you would like to share – There may be aspects of your journey that you prefer to keep private. For instance, you might choose not to disclose how many eggs or embryos you have, or whether the cycle has been successful. Setting these boundaries early on can be helpful when discussing your experience with others. Opening up later, rather than sooner, can give you time to process your journey. Once you feel comfortable, you can choose to share more details if you wish.
Keep communication open – Your loved ones may be hesitant about asking questions, wanting to respect your privacy. Sharing some details about your situation, within your comfort zone, can help them understand your journey better. If you’re open to questions, let them know; this can provide insight into your experience and how they can support you.
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Be prepared for mixed reactions – Not everyone will respond the way you would expect. Some may express empathy and offer support, while others might ask questions or provide unsolicited advice. Understand that their reactions may not be intentional; they may just need time to process the news. You can gently explain that, while you appreciate their concern, you are receiving professional guidance from your fertility clinic and doctor.
Clarify how they can help – Some loved ones might want to support you but may not know how. Be clear about the specific ways they can assist, whether it’s accompanying you to appointments or cooking meals. This clarity can make a significant difference and allow you to focus on your fertility journey
If you prefer not to talk, that’s okay - Remember, you don’t have to share your experience if you don't want to. You may choose to keep this information between you and your partner.
Additionally, reaching out to your doctor or a counsellor can help you process your emotions. Ultimately, this is your journey, so do what feels right for you.
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How to tell your workplace about your fertility journey
Starting fertility treatment will naturally impact your work schedule. You’ll need to attend appointments, and there may be days when you don’t feel your best or require time to recover after certain procedures. So, it’s important to be open and honest with your manager.
Understandably, you may feel anxious about sharing this information, but being transparent can alleviate some of that anxiety and make the process easier for both of you. It will also give them a better understanding of your situation.
Consider discussing the possibility of a flexible approach to your working week. Working from home can also be beneficial. There will be moments when you may be tired and unable to perform at your best, but keeping your manager informed will enable them to accommodate your needs.
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