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M. - Single woman from Norway

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For how long were you thinking about having a baby?

I have always known I wanted children, but when my serious relationship ended when I was about 30 years old, I began to look into alternative ways of having them. I considered alternative ways of having children for approximately two years before I made the decision.

What where the first steps that you undertook when your wish for a baby grew?

I considered adoption, as I did not see it as necessary to bring more children into this world when so many children are in need of a caretaker already. But since I am diabetic and single, and did not earn the right amount of money per year, I was not allowed to adopt. I checked out fertility cliniques, and landed on Stork as the best (and nearest geographically) option. Then I took your information papers to my doctor and asked to have all the tests done to get the process started. I was then 32.

Why did you decide to undergo fertility treatment at the TFP Stork Fertility?

Geographical site, good reputation, all information needed and OK price. The language was also important, as my English isn’t that good.

Do you know the sperm donor of your child or is he anonymous/open? And how did you decide?

I decided to have an open donor to my child, as is the law in Norway for those who are lucky enough to get treated there for free (lesbian couples and infertile couples). I did not wish to break the law more than necessary. I also thought being able to meet her donor could be of importance to my child as she grew up. I let the clinic choose a donor for me, as I found it hard to select and found it a bit problematic ethically.  

What were the reactions of your friends and family during and after your fertility treatment?

My family knew that I am a person who is not afraid of going my own way and that they would be unable to talk me out of it. Over all, they reacted more positively than I had imagined. I believe the thought of a child in the family was more important than how it came about. My friends all supported me. They were at the same stage – most of them had small children – and were happy that I could join them. I must say I was utterly surprised on how the health system also applauded my decision. No criticism, no questions asked. I felt so embraced.

How would you explain the atmosphere at TFP Stork Fertility?

My first meeting with the clinic was very good; I felt the atmosphere was calm, professional and still personal and warm. I got pregnant on the first go, and had a good experience there. My next three visits were different – it had become hard to inseminate, and it was very painful, I had several nurses, midwifes and doctors trying. It was very unpleasant, and it did not go well. I took a break, and went back for three more tries. These three times it was a lot better – the nurse had a backup from the beginning, the doctor was in, I got to go straight to the room with ultrasound, and despite the pain and agony, I felt it was a better chance of getting pregnant than before. The doctor did not give up until she got into the uterus – the whole team did everything they could. I am going back for two more tries, and although I know it will be painful, I also know the doctors will be supportive and do their very best.  

Which words best describe the team working at the TFP Stork Fertility?

Solutions-oriented, positive, empathetic, caring and professional. 

Who was your biggest support during your fertility treatment?

I do have a few co-workers who know what I am about to do, but with my first child I did this entirely on my own. I am OK with this. I have two good friends that I keep updated on the (missing) progression, and I know I can contact them if I feel like it.   

Which situation gave you the most hope and when did you experience fear and anxiety?

I am very hopeful now that I can get hormones, but I do not have as big expectations now as I did after I got pregnant on first try. Luckily, I have a child, but I still wish for siblings. I felt anxiety when the team did not find my cervix, and the pain began to rise. I felt for a moment that they could have read my file before I came – but I do understand that they were called out in a hurry and did not have a lot of time. I also felt anxiety as the sperm laid for an hour on the table before being inseminated. I felt like all hope was lost. 

Did you get to know other single women that were in the same or similar situation as you, and if so, are you still in touch with them?

I joined a group of single mothers right after I had my daughter, and I still have contact with one of them. She is in the same situation as me, but as she has a lot more practical support from her family, so it is still a bit different for her. 

What advice can you give to other single women that are in the same situation as you?

I would say go for it. And if you consider more children, do not hesitate to get the process starting. I regret waiting three years before trying to get siblings for my daughter. I believe the odds would have been much better if I had not waited. I feel being a single parent isn’t too hard, except it wears on my patience from time to time. 

How does – in your opinion - the fertility treatment of a single woman differentiate from a fertility treatment of a couple?

Not too much, I assume. I know very little about the treatment for couples, though. In Norway, couples can be inseminated three times for free, so I see the biggest difference in price and the possibility of having a legal treatment in your own country. Otherwise, I think it’s quite similar.

Please leave a quote here, if you have one:

I am greatly thankful for the opportunity to have a child, even without a partner. It is totally worth every penny and effort put into it. TFP Stork Fertility has been brilliant in meeting my needs in this process. I feel so lucky to be a part of this extended Stork family, and I could not wish for a better treatment or result of it!

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