Fertility treatment for singles and lesbian couples

Conceiving as a single woman

The choice to have a child without a partner is not the first choice for many women. Choosing to raise a child alone often means a divergence from the ‘ideal path’ of starting a family with a partner. This choice is an important and difficult one, and it will influence the rest of your life. 

We know this intimately since we offer guidance to single women who made this choice every day.

Conceiving as a lesbian couple

Lesbian couples often choose very consciously for treatments involving donated sperm. The couple will have to choose who will have their (first) baby. The desire to have children is one that needs communication and openness regarding their relationship. There can be a fragility to the role of the ‘co-mother’ (the partner who didn’t carry the child) in the child’s life. Luckily, the judicial position of the co-mother has been better protected since 2014, as documented in the ‘Wet juridisch ouderschap van de vrouwelijk partner’ (Law on judicial parenthood of the female partner).

Conceiving using donated sperm

If you have chosen to conceive a child using donated sperm, there are several possibilities to do so. Would you prefer a personal donor, someone you know, to help you fulfil your desire to have children? Or do you want an anonymous donor, who donated sperm to a sperm bank?

TFP MC Kinderwens can help you with the whole process in either scenario. Our facility uses frozen donated sperm only. We do not offer treatments using freshly donated sperm. This is due to our attention to the procedure’s safety. By using sperm that has been stored cryogenically, we can ensure that it is free of anything harmful, such as an infection.

When we treat women using donated sperm, our preference is to start with an IUI treatment. Exceptions are of course possible; the first choice might instead be an IVF treatment due to medical reasons for example.

Information meeting

Your first appointment with our facility will be to attend a general information meeting, which we organize regularly for single or lesbian women who want to conceive using donated sperm. During such a meeting, a fertility counselor and a nurse will provide all the information you’ll need. There is, of course, the opportunity to ask any questions you may have.

The first consultation with your treating nurse or physician

After attending one of the above mentioned information meetings, you can schedule an appointment with your treating nurse or physician. At the TFP MC Kinderwens, we aim to assign one nurse or physician as your main point of contact. They will guide you through your entire time with us. We do ask you to fill out several forms that we will send you prior to this consultation, containing questions regarding (for example) your medical history and which kinds of medication you use, if any.

During this first consultation, these questionnaires will be used to help your treating nurse or physician map out your situation. Several follow-up appointments will be scheduled following this consultation.

Examinations

Prior to starting any treatments, it’s important that we perform several examinations, such as blood tests, a vaginal ultrasound and (in some cases) an examination of the fallopian tubes.

Occasionally, we advise our clients to schedule an appointment with our fertility counsellor, who will be available to guide you in the choices you face and can provide emotional support. In some cases, we consider it of vital importance for our clients to analyze their home environment with the help of our fertility counsellor.

IUI treatment using a personal donor

TFP MC Kinderwens does offer the possibility to use a personal donor’s sperm to do an IUI treatment.

First, we’ll have an intake consultation with the woman who will be receiving the sperm. If she is eligible to receive this treatment at our fertility centre, we’ll schedule another intake with the intended donor.

During this intake, a physician will review the donor’s medical history and his reasons for donating.

In addition to this, there will be consultations with our fertility counsellor for both the donor and the intended parent.

Due to health and safety concerns, inseminations using donated sperm are exclusively performed with sperm that has been frozen. This allows us to guarantee that no infections will be transferred between donor and recipient. The donor will be screened for infectious diseases in accordance with Dutch legislation and guidelines, both before and after the donation. We always perform several checks to confirm that the sperm is high enough quality to do an IUI treatment. The sperm will only be used for insemination if the results of this screening are positive.

You can find further information in our extensive information brochures on ‘the storage of sperm for donation purposes, and ‘IUI using sperm from a personal donor’. Both are available on our website, under downloads.

IUI treatment using sperm from the TFP MC Kinderwens sperm bank

TFP MC Kinderwens has use of a private sperm bank. The demand for donated sperm exceeds the supply by far, so we do have a waiting period of one year.

In addition to this, we use a postcode area restriction for singles. You can use our sperm bank only if you live in postcode areas 2200 u/i 2899.

If you want to start any treatment using donated sperm from the sperm bank, you will first have to schedule an intake consultation with one of our physicians or specialized nurses. If desired, you can also schedule a consultation with our fertility counsellor to help guide you through the process.

If you are eligible to receive a treatment using donated sperm from our donor bank, we’ll add you to our waiting list.

When we find a suitable donor, you’ll receive a donor proposal. If you accept, a starting consultation will be scheduled, during which the treatment will be explained to you in detail.

IUI treatment using sperm from a foreign sperm bank

The MCK Fertility Center works closely with foreign sperm banks.

If you’d like to start an IUI treatment using sperm from a foreign sperm bank, you’ll first have to schedule an intake consultation with one of our physicians or specialized nurses.

If you are eligible to receive an IUI treatment, TFP MC Kinderwens will supply you with more detailed information on these sperm banks. TFP only allows non-anonymous, or ‘open’, donors.

There is no waiting list to use sperm from these sperm banks.

TFP MC Kinderwens offers the possibility to cryogenically store the donated sperm.

“Wet registratie donorgegevens kunstmatige bevruchting"

Since 2002, there’s been a law in the Netherlands called the ‘Wet Donorgegevens Kunstmatige Bevruchting’ (law on Donors’ Personal Details for Artificial Insemination). It states that fertility centres must provide the names, dates of birth and addresses of both donors and donor sperm acceptors to the Stichting Registratie Donorgegevens (Donors’ Personal Details Registration Association). Donors need to be willing to reveal their identity if a child born from insemination using that donor’s sperm reaches the age of 16 and wants to know. The child will need to submit that request to the Stichting.

If a child does so, the donor is allowed to present a reasoned objection, in which case a judge will decide. The law mentioned above also details that since June 2004, no sperm from anonymous donors can be frozen for use in insemination treatments.

Emotional consequences

During the intake consultation, we’re interested in what made you choose to undergo a fertility treatment using donated sperm, and we’ll ask about your social network and support systems. If you feel the need for it, we do have a fertility counsellor available. They’ll be able to guide you during a time where you’ll have to face some complicated choices which may decide the rest of your life.

At the start of treatment, trying to conceive has as much to do with your mental as well as your physical wellbeing, and it’s important for you to pay attention to your mental health. It’s always possible to take a break in a series of IUI treatments if you need to. In addition to this, you’ll always be able to schedule an interim evaluation with your treating nurse or physician.

At the TFP MC Kinderwens, we feel it’s important to offer sufficient guidance when things may be difficult on an emotional level. You can simply schedule a (free) appointment with our specialized fertility counsellor.