When Carolyn, from North Oxford approached 40 and hadn’t yet met Mr Right, she chose IVF to achieve her dream of having a child. Carolyn explains:
“I work for a travel company, creating tailor made dream holidays around Latin America. Most of my twenties and thirties were spent travelling around the world, and although I had met Mr Wrongs, I had not yet met a Mr Right.
“As I approached 40 I started to think about my own dreams. I realised that having a child was something I wanted in my future and if that was going to happen I needed to act now. I didn’t want to risk not finding him in time, or putting too much pressure on a relationship, so I decided I would strike out and pursue IVF as a single woman.
“I have always been independent and so when I shared my news with family and friends, they weren’t too surprised. They were very happy for me, as I’ve always been great with children, and they could see me being a good mum.
“As I needed to be in Argentina, whilst in Buenos Aires I underwent a cycle of IVF, which unfortunately didn’t work. But undeterred, when I returned to the UK, I decided to try again. I wouldn’t qualify for NHS funding, which to me felt right, so I didn’t go to my GP, instead I researched clinics myself and went directly to Oxford Fertility. The facility is excellent, easy to get to and easy to park. Inside you can see into the sealed lab where life is being created and the nurses are wonderful.
“From my research, I’d already decided I wanted a donor from Denmark, from a sperm bank with one of the largest choice of donors in the world. I was given a wealth of profiling information and picked a donor who had a high emotional intelligence score. If I was to have a child, I would wish for them to be kind and funny, and so if this man was empathetic and had been kind enough to donate, that was a good place to start.
“I knew because of my age my chances of success were small. My first cycle at Oxford Fertility failed, and my second produced a pregnancy but sadly a miscarriage. My third cycle led to a pregnancy that went past the 12 week mark, and then continued! I didn’t quite believe it until baby Bobby arrived in my arms.
“I have to say the first six or seven weeks were hard, but since Christmas Day, when he made his first smile, we’ve never looked back. I had a great life before Bobby, with a great job and brilliant friends, but he is my purpose. He is such a happy baby and so makes my devotion very easy.
“For anyone considering IVF as a single woman, I would say think about your future, as if you only think about today you may never do it. I think the quote ‘I’d rather regret the things I have done than the things that I haven’t.’ sums it up nicely.